Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
December 31, 2030 - March 14, 2040
Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
Friday, January 31
Testimony by David Teo (part two) , 22, North Carolina
“Today was a big one. I came in today nervous that my heart wouldn’t open up when I shared the labels, curses, design issues, family pains, rejections and most of all the skeletons in my closet.
I was scheduled to share second in the group today. But I didn’t feel like my heart was in the right place yet. I was cold. I put on my hoodie, I hid and focused more on talking with God and asking him WHY this was happening. My heart felt attacked by the evil one, where it wasn’t growing soft or aligning with the heart of the Father for this time.
I was frustrated. I was scared that I was going to share, and that nothing would happen because of my un-aligned heart. And my healing was going to be stolen.
My 1 on 1 noticed and came across the room and sat by me, talked to me, and prayed for me. It was good. I didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t.
I got the divine idea to write declarations over myself to combat my fear of this breakthrough being stolen from me (not that it would cease to be available to me even if it were) and re-align my heart and attitudes with Christ. Here they are:
I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST
I AM A NEW CREATION
I HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
I AM LOVED
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR
HE HAS NO HOLD ON ME
I HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
HE MAKES ME BRAVE
THE DEVIL WILL NOT STEAL MY HEALING AND REVELATIONS – IN JESUS’ NAME.
That did the trick. I stood up and shared. Filled with disgust for myself and overcome with shame, I made confession of all the sins that the devil had been waving in my face for the past months.
Steve Aherne, our speaker for the week, immediately recognized how overcome with shame I was. He told me, “David, you know that you have already been forgiven for all of this stuff, right?”
Me: “uh huhh.”
He told me to stand up and declare that this sin had been forgiven, and that it had no hold over me.
We did the ministry hug and towel thing and I snot-cried, balled my eyes out. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said to me on those two chairs, but I think it was less about what he was saying and more about me experiencing the Father’s heart, and God’s great love for me.
Steve Aherne: “What are you feeling?”
With my head on his shoulder, I saw an image of a prison holding cell. It was lined with rubber; rubber on the walls, floor and ceiling. It even has a drain in the centre of the floor. One of those cells was inside of me, deep in my heart. That cell is where I would keep all the memories of my sin, shame, curses, and labels. And I just see Jesus pressure washing the walls, floor and ceilings and all of those things running down into that drain. Then He steps out of the room, shuts the door, and the room implodes on itself. That’s gone.
Jaron (my 1 on 1), Adam (one of the school coordinators), and I went into the office next door to talk about what had happened. Adam described a picture to me – holding onto the desire for breakthrough so tightly that it hurts you. The raccoon that puts its hand in the jar to grasp candy, but now that its hand is formed into a fist, it’s too big to take it out of the mouth of the jar. But the raccoon is stubborn. He can’t and won’t let go of the candy. So he is trapped there, grasping the candy, and is bound with his own hand by the very thing he desires so greatly.
I have that tendency….
Jaron: “You are not prideful. You’re not the things you talked about.”
Holy Spirit: “That old man died when he was crucified with Christ.”
Adam: “You’re not fooling me. You think you’re this terrible person who’s done all these shameful things, but I see you for who you really are. You’re not fooling me.”
Holy Spirit: “You came to the right place.”
Adam: “I’m really glad you’re here bro.”
I thought the sinful man was who I really was, but that is a lie. That man who walks out in the “good works which are prepared in advance for you” that is who the true man is.”
If you missed part one of David Teo’s testimonies, here is his revelation of Genuine Worship – what it means to actively choose Jesus and that praising God can be a beautiful sacrifice.
“Before I did the Go Pacific DTS, I was expecting the Lord to do a lot of amazing things through me; and He did. However, I never expected Him to do so much work in my own heart. I drew a lot closer to God, experienced freedom, and I learned to believe in the ‘Jonas’ that He says I am. My relationship with God has become deeper and more serious, but at the same time it has become more fun and casual.”
Jonas Sørensen, 21, Denmark
“For the past two years God has called me to go deeper in the word and not just let it be a surface level experience with Him. However I didn’t really have the tools, knowledge or understanding for how to go about this. God spoke to me months before I knew I would be able to do the DBS, during lockdown, that those who get into the word would see the face of Jesus. I am realizing that as I get into the word for hours a day with really helpful teachings to go alongside the readings, that is exactly what is happening. I am gaining such a deeper understanding of who God is and who I am, in relation to Him. There have been weeks where doing the homework assignments just completely wrecked me by seeing the love of God and in the moments of reflecting how God has moved so radically in my life. Even when I wasn’t walking closely with Him, He has always been drawing me back into a close relationship with Him by His love and mercy and grace.”
Anika Hochstedler, 26, New York
“Reading the whole Bible was a real challenge for me, but it was so rewarding. My eyes were opened to the fact that Jesus had existed from the very beginning and that God’s gracious heart always was and is the same! I learned that the Bible isn’t just a story about God, but rather a story about imperfect, raw, real people. I know now that I am one of them, and that I can see God work in my life just like He did it with them!”
Jenny Fritz, 19, Germany
“Throughout my time on the Pilgrimage DTS, God has worked in me in countless ways. Whether it was learning to see His beauty and love for us in creation, or learning to trust when I was soaking wet, and knowing it’s all for a purpose, a part of the adventure! But also a great part was having lectures about how to walk in the authority of Christ, and learning how to hear the voice of God and grow in relationship with Him! I must say, it’s been the adventure of a lifetime, which won’t end because God isn’t just staying with us for a season, He’s in it with us for eternity!”
Blaise Brunson, 17, Turkey
“God showed me that true worship always comes out of a place of intimacy and revelation of what Jesus has done for me. I realized that this is were I want to be – sitting at His feet and pouring out my love and affection before Him, because He’s so worthy.”
Julianna Suter, 20, Switzerland
“In the Kingdom Come stream, we really focused on what the kingdom of God is and how to live that out on earth. The most impactful aspect of this was walking out a miraculous lifestyle and being in an intimate relationship with God, where you can expect miracles to happen.”
Peter Seip, 25, Virginia, USA
“SPHC was honestly one of the best experiences of my life so far. From the lecture phase to outreach, my mind was constantly blown by the endless stream of possibilities that become available when you combine practical medical care with the power of prayer. Also, getting to hike, ride in boats and in the back of trucks, and setting up clinics basically anywhere was quite the highlight for a city girl like me.”
Tabitha Abishegam, 26, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
“Prayer and Passion completely changed my outlook on the true power that prayer has. It had always been something that I knew worked and I did, but it was boring. Being a part of this stream gave me new understanding of how prayer is worship and fuels the power of heaven connecting with earth. It will move you to a place of praying out of your relationship with the Lord rather than giving him a list of things you want. You will gain a newfound intimacy with God as your prayer life is propelled.”
Tilly Logan, 21, Australia
“Before coming to DTS I had a fixed view on what it meant to be a follower of God. Being on the Wild Heart Stream completely demolished every box I put God in and taught me to have reverence for the Lord. I learned that God doesn’t want a slave, he wants a best friend, a daughter and a relationship.”
Jessica Bryant, 19, England
“Doing a DTS and being part of the worship stream was absolutely life changing for me. God took me from a luke-warm, passive, prideful faith, to an authentic passionate relationship with Him. As he revealed His worthiness to me, I learned to let go of everything in this world and cling to Him; to allow myself to be undone in His presence.”
Lauren Balzer, 18, BC Canada