Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
October 19, 2020 - January 1, 2030
Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
Friday, January 31
Testimony by David Teo (part two) , 22, North Carolina
“Today was a big one. I came in today nervous that my heart wouldn’t open up when I shared the labels, curses, design issues, family pains, rejections and most of all the skeletons in my closet.
I was scheduled to share second in the group today. But I didn’t feel like my heart was in the right place yet. I was cold. I put on my hoodie, I hid and focused more on talking with God and asking him WHY this was happening. My heart felt attacked by the evil one, where it wasn’t growing soft or aligning with the heart of the Father for this time.
I was frustrated. I was scared that I was going to share, and that nothing would happen because of my un-aligned heart. And my healing was going to be stolen.
My 1 on 1 noticed and came across the room and sat by me, talked to me, and prayed for me. It was good. I didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t.
I got the divine idea to write declarations over myself to combat my fear of this breakthrough being stolen from me (not that it would cease to be available to me even if it were) and re-align my heart and attitudes with Christ. Here they are:
I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST
I AM A NEW CREATION
I HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
I AM LOVED
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR
HE HAS NO HOLD ON ME
I HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
HE MAKES ME BRAVE
THE DEVIL WILL NOT STEAL MY HEALING AND REVELATIONS – IN JESUS’ NAME.
That did the trick. I stood up and shared. Filled with disgust for myself and overcome with shame, I made confession of all the sins that the devil had been waving in my face for the past months.
Steve Aherne, our speaker for the week, immediately recognized how overcome with shame I was. He told me, “David, you know that you have already been forgiven for all of this stuff, right?”
Me: “uh huhh.”
He told me to stand up and declare that this sin had been forgiven, and that it had no hold over me.
We did the ministry hug and towel thing and I snot-cried, balled my eyes out. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said to me on those two chairs, but I think it was less about what he was saying and more about me experiencing the Father’s heart, and God’s great love for me.
Steve Aherne: “What are you feeling?”
With my head on his shoulder, I saw an image of a prison holding cell. It was lined with rubber; rubber on the walls, floor and ceiling. It even has a drain in the centre of the floor. One of those cells was inside of me, deep in my heart. That cell is where I would keep all the memories of my sin, shame, curses, and labels. And I just see Jesus pressure washing the walls, floor and ceilings and all of those things running down into that drain. Then He steps out of the room, shuts the door, and the room implodes on itself. That’s gone.
Jaron (my 1 on 1), Adam (one of the school coordinators), and I went into the office next door to talk about what had happened. Adam described a picture to me – holding onto the desire for breakthrough so tightly that it hurts you. The raccoon that puts its hand in the jar to grasp candy, but now that its hand is formed into a fist, it’s too big to take it out of the mouth of the jar. But the raccoon is stubborn. He can’t and won’t let go of the candy. So he is trapped there, grasping the candy, and is bound with his own hand by the very thing he desires so greatly.
I have that tendency….
Jaron: “You are not prideful. You’re not the things you talked about.”
Holy Spirit: “That old man died when he was crucified with Christ.”
Adam: “You’re not fooling me. You think you’re this terrible person who’s done all these shameful things, but I see you for who you really are. You’re not fooling me.”
Holy Spirit: “You came to the right place.”
Adam: “I’m really glad you’re here bro.”
I thought the sinful man was who I really was, but that is a lie. That man who walks out in the “good works which are prepared in advance for you” that is who the true man is.”
If you missed part one of David Teo’s testimonies, here is his revelation of Genuine Worship – what it means to actively chose Jesus and that praising God can be a beautiful sacrifice.
“We had been married for 5 years when we came to Marine Reach. As a married couple, we learned a lot about each other and ourselves and gained a lot for our marriage. What we enjoyed most during the GO PAC stream times was the mix between the depth we dove into God’s Word, getting to know His plan for us better, and the times thinking and learning about the interesting Pacific cultures. We think it is so important to get to know new cultures. At the base, there are many different cultures, but you really want to get to know the one culture where you live and where you’re going on outreach. We experienced that when spiritual basics are understood with the heart and not only with the mind, that is what brings change into your daily life, and that is what you can carry home after DTS.“
Tobias & Annika Dietrich, 26 & 26, Germany
“Medical Compassion DTS was a truly an incredible experience. Working in health centres, hospitals and pop-up clinics grew my interest in medicine and allowed me to practically show the love of God. For me, the most transformational aspect of my Med-Com DTS was the focus on compassion and its importance in achieving true holistic healing. This is an experience like no other!”
Matthew Bassett, 18, Orewa, NZ
“Being a Kingdom Come student was an awesome experience. We learned a lot about the kingdom of heaven and how to live it out in our daily lives.”
David Lindner, 21, Germany
“For the first time in my life, God showed the revelation of his father-heart through the Cover-to-Cover Bible read and I can now say that I know that I am a Daughter of the King of Kings. So many things moved from my head to my heart through the teaching and reading, and I’m so thankful the Lord lead me into this stream!”
Elizabeth Thruston, 24, Sacramento, CA / Monument, CO
“Before joining the Medical Compassion stream, it was hard for me to understand what total surrender looked like in my life. I realize now that it is not my own compassion that compels me to love and care for others, but rather, it is the Father’s heart through me. I realize now that He is the true Savior, and I am simply a vessel chosen to carry His love and mercy to those hurting around me.”
Maeve Cooney, 18, Maryland, USA
“Before I attended my DTS, I believed that justice was an act of revenge. I had hate toward the perpetrators and love toward the victims. Being apart of the Justice Movement Stream has shown me the Father’s heart of justice, which actually demonstrates the endless love of the Father for both the victim and the perpetrator. Through this I learned that we should also carry that same love and forgiveness in our hearts.”
Savannah Mantel,18, California, USA
“Doing The Cover to Cover DTS at Marine Reach was one of the best things I’ve decided to do. Reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelation helped me see more of the different characteristics and nature of God. The Cover to Cover DTS was great. It taught me how to be diligent, manage my time properly, and helped me have a more sturdy foundation and in my beliefs. “
Talon Jernigan, 20, USA
“Doing SPHC was an amazing experience. Not only was I given the opportunity to continue to grow spiritually, but I learned things that can be used in a very practical and much needed way. SPHC gave me the opportunity to show the Father’s heart to people in a very unique way and love on the person in front of me while helping them in such a simple way.”
Karunia Been, 20, Portugal
“Doing a DTS and being part of the worship stream was absolutely life changing for me. God took me from a luke-warm, passive, prideful faith, to an authentic passionate relationship with Him. As he revealed His worthiness to me, I learned to let go of everything in this world and cling to Him; to allow myself to be undone in His presence.”
Lauren Balzer, 18, BC Canada
“Before doing the Justice Movement stream I was so full of hatred and anger toward the perpetrators of human trafficking; completely lacking the love God has for them. But through the stream meetings and prayer it’s been a beautiful journey in which God has shown me how deep and vast His love is for ALL His children. God completely changed my view and I couldn’t be more thankful for this experience!”
Kara Spencer, 19, BC, Canada