Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
October 19, 2020 - January 1, 2030
Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
Friday, January 31
Testimony by David Teo (part two) , 22, North Carolina
“Today was a big one. I came in today nervous that my heart wouldn’t open up when I shared the labels, curses, design issues, family pains, rejections and most of all the skeletons in my closet.
I was scheduled to share second in the group today. But I didn’t feel like my heart was in the right place yet. I was cold. I put on my hoodie, I hid and focused more on talking with God and asking him WHY this was happening. My heart felt attacked by the evil one, where it wasn’t growing soft or aligning with the heart of the Father for this time.
I was frustrated. I was scared that I was going to share, and that nothing would happen because of my un-aligned heart. And my healing was going to be stolen.
My 1 on 1 noticed and came across the room and sat by me, talked to me, and prayed for me. It was good. I didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t.
I got the divine idea to write declarations over myself to combat my fear of this breakthrough being stolen from me (not that it would cease to be available to me even if it were) and re-align my heart and attitudes with Christ. Here they are:
I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST
I AM A NEW CREATION
I HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
I AM LOVED
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR
HE HAS NO HOLD ON ME
I HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
HE MAKES ME BRAVE
THE DEVIL WILL NOT STEAL MY HEALING AND REVELATIONS – IN JESUS’ NAME.
That did the trick. I stood up and shared. Filled with disgust for myself and overcome with shame, I made confession of all the sins that the devil had been waving in my face for the past months.
Steve Aherne, our speaker for the week, immediately recognized how overcome with shame I was. He told me, “David, you know that you have already been forgiven for all of this stuff, right?”
Me: “uh huhh.”
He told me to stand up and declare that this sin had been forgiven, and that it had no hold over me.
We did the ministry hug and towel thing and I snot-cried, balled my eyes out. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said to me on those two chairs, but I think it was less about what he was saying and more about me experiencing the Father’s heart, and God’s great love for me.
Steve Aherne: “What are you feeling?”
With my head on his shoulder, I saw an image of a prison holding cell. It was lined with rubber; rubber on the walls, floor and ceiling. It even has a drain in the centre of the floor. One of those cells was inside of me, deep in my heart. That cell is where I would keep all the memories of my sin, shame, curses, and labels. And I just see Jesus pressure washing the walls, floor and ceilings and all of those things running down into that drain. Then He steps out of the room, shuts the door, and the room implodes on itself. That’s gone.
Jaron (my 1 on 1), Adam (one of the school coordinators), and I went into the office next door to talk about what had happened. Adam described a picture to me – holding onto the desire for breakthrough so tightly that it hurts you. The raccoon that puts its hand in the jar to grasp candy, but now that its hand is formed into a fist, it’s too big to take it out of the mouth of the jar. But the raccoon is stubborn. He can’t and won’t let go of the candy. So he is trapped there, grasping the candy, and is bound with his own hand by the very thing he desires so greatly.
I have that tendency….
Jaron: “You are not prideful. You’re not the things you talked about.”
Holy Spirit: “That old man died when he was crucified with Christ.”
Adam: “You’re not fooling me. You think you’re this terrible person who’s done all these shameful things, but I see you for who you really are. You’re not fooling me.”
Holy Spirit: “You came to the right place.”
Adam: “I’m really glad you’re here bro.”
I thought the sinful man was who I really was, but that is a lie. That man who walks out in the “good works which are prepared in advance for you” that is who the true man is.”
If you missed part one of David Teo’s testimonies, here is his revelation of Genuine Worship – what it means to actively chose Jesus and that praising God can be a beautiful sacrifice.
“Since being here at Marine Reach, my hunger for God has continued to grow more and more. In the Kingdom Come stream, our heart is to see the world changed by the message of His love and the demonstration of His power. It’s such a privilege to be apart of a group of people so on fire for Jesus!”
Joseph Pope, 25, Virginia, USA
“Before joining the Medical Compassion stream, it was hard for me to understand what total surrender looked like in my life. I realize now that it is not my own compassion that compels me to love and care for others, but rather, it is the Father’s heart through me. I realize now that He is the true Savior, and I am simply a vessel chosen to carry His love and mercy to those hurting around me.”
Maeve Cooney, 18, Maryland, USA
“Medical Compassion DTS was a truly an incredible experience. Working in health centres, hospitals and pop-up clinics grew my interest in medicine and allowed me to practically show the love of God. For me, the most transformational aspect of my Med-Com DTS was the focus on compassion and its importance in achieving true holistic healing. This is an experience like no other!”
Matthew Bassett, 18, Orewa, NZ
“Wild at Heart? Yes, of course! But whatever adventure I went for, I wanted to be the one in control. During my DTS, God changed my heart to go wild with Him. I learned to trust in God and that I don’t have to be in charge, as long as I know the One who is!”
Silas Bauer, 21, Germany
“Before DBS the Bible was a bit overwhelming to me and I wasn’t sure if I was capable of receiving understanding for myself; especially when it comes to the hard questions or more complex passages. After DBS, that questioning was stripped away and my relationship with my Heavenly Father has gone deeper than ever before.
DBS taught me how to see the Father heart of God. I learned to see God’s justice, faithfulness, and consistency from Genesis to Revelation. My life and relationship with Jesus will never be the same. When I read God’s Word it speaks loudly to me in full color. I cannot get enough of my Father’s words!! DBS equipped me to search out the scriptures for myself and empower me to share what I’ve learned with those around me. DBS was the sweetest time of my entire life.”
Amy Hulehan, 26, USA
“Doing The Cover to Cover DTS at Marine Reach was one of the best things I’ve decided to do. Reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelation helped me see more of the different characteristics and nature of God. The Cover to Cover DTS was great. It taught me how to be diligent, manage my time properly, and helped me have a more sturdy foundation and in my beliefs. “
Talon Jernigan, 20, USA
DBS has been a fulfilled prayer for me. When I was home, I asked the Lord to bring me deeper into his word, and He put that desire on my heart. I knew I would come back to staff, and I thought I would dive into it on my own. I found myself not having the right tools needed to effectively study God’s word. Once DBS became an option, I went for it wholeheartedly. I have been enjoying my time, going deeper than I imagined. God has shown me new things, removed false perspectives of his word and brought me into a deeper understanding of who he is. I have been challenged in many ways during this course, helping me find my place in God’s kingdom. I’ve been able to build a strong foundation with the Word of God. Over all, the Lord created a new heart within me that desires to love, praise, share joy, and bring others into the family of God. I love this school for all that is provided from strong friendships to heart moving moments in small groups and the teachings. My life will never be the same after this school!
Alex Denney, 20, Washington
“In the worshipstream I learned why we worship God, because he loved us first and because he’s worthy to be praised!
Also I learned that If you lead worship you have to be filled first in order to lead others into worship because you lead others in the intimacy that you have for yourself.”
Jaspar Wandtke, 20, Germany
“Our DTS was a time set apart to seek God’s face and encounter Him in a completely new way. During those five months, He realigned our heart and mind with His heart and His thoughts for us. We found that to love Him and to sit at the feet of Jesus is the only place we want to be and to live our lives from.”
Emmanuel & Emelie Linder, 28 & 26, Sweden
“Through prayer and passion stream, I was able to see how prayer could be a place of so much intimacy with God. Finding my secret place with Him allowed me to fall in love again with His beauty and goodness. At the same time, God revealed to me the secrets of His heart- how He saw me and how He saw the world. It’s such a privilege to know that there’s a big God up there who trust us and partners with us to bring the kingdom of heaven down on to earth through our prayers!!! And never once did He let me down.”
Jesse Chua, 22, Singapore
