Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
October 19, 2020 - January 1, 2030
Journal Entry: Father Heart of God
Friday, January 31
Testimony by David Teo (part two) , 22, North Carolina
“Today was a big one. I came in today nervous that my heart wouldn’t open up when I shared the labels, curses, design issues, family pains, rejections and most of all the skeletons in my closet.
I was scheduled to share second in the group today. But I didn’t feel like my heart was in the right place yet. I was cold. I put on my hoodie, I hid and focused more on talking with God and asking him WHY this was happening. My heart felt attacked by the evil one, where it wasn’t growing soft or aligning with the heart of the Father for this time.
I was frustrated. I was scared that I was going to share, and that nothing would happen because of my un-aligned heart. And my healing was going to be stolen.
My 1 on 1 noticed and came across the room and sat by me, talked to me, and prayed for me. It was good. I didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t.
I got the divine idea to write declarations over myself to combat my fear of this breakthrough being stolen from me (not that it would cease to be available to me even if it were) and re-align my heart and attitudes with Christ. Here they are:
I HAVE THE MIND OF CHRIST
I AM A NEW CREATION
I HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
I AM LOVED
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR
HE HAS NO HOLD ON ME
I HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT
HE MAKES ME BRAVE
THE DEVIL WILL NOT STEAL MY HEALING AND REVELATIONS – IN JESUS’ NAME.
That did the trick. I stood up and shared. Filled with disgust for myself and overcome with shame, I made confession of all the sins that the devil had been waving in my face for the past months.
Steve Aherne, our speaker for the week, immediately recognized how overcome with shame I was. He told me, “David, you know that you have already been forgiven for all of this stuff, right?”
Me: “uh huhh.”
He told me to stand up and declare that this sin had been forgiven, and that it had no hold over me.
We did the ministry hug and towel thing and I snot-cried, balled my eyes out. Honestly, I don’t remember what he said to me on those two chairs, but I think it was less about what he was saying and more about me experiencing the Father’s heart, and God’s great love for me.
Steve Aherne: “What are you feeling?”
With my head on his shoulder, I saw an image of a prison holding cell. It was lined with rubber; rubber on the walls, floor and ceiling. It even has a drain in the centre of the floor. One of those cells was inside of me, deep in my heart. That cell is where I would keep all the memories of my sin, shame, curses, and labels. And I just see Jesus pressure washing the walls, floor and ceilings and all of those things running down into that drain. Then He steps out of the room, shuts the door, and the room implodes on itself. That’s gone.
Jaron (my 1 on 1), Adam (one of the school coordinators), and I went into the office next door to talk about what had happened. Adam described a picture to me – holding onto the desire for breakthrough so tightly that it hurts you. The raccoon that puts its hand in the jar to grasp candy, but now that its hand is formed into a fist, it’s too big to take it out of the mouth of the jar. But the raccoon is stubborn. He can’t and won’t let go of the candy. So he is trapped there, grasping the candy, and is bound with his own hand by the very thing he desires so greatly.
I have that tendency….
Jaron: “You are not prideful. You’re not the things you talked about.”
Holy Spirit: “That old man died when he was crucified with Christ.”
Adam: “You’re not fooling me. You think you’re this terrible person who’s done all these shameful things, but I see you for who you really are. You’re not fooling me.”
Holy Spirit: “You came to the right place.”
Adam: “I’m really glad you’re here bro.”
I thought the sinful man was who I really was, but that is a lie. That man who walks out in the “good works which are prepared in advance for you” that is who the true man is.”
If you missed part one of David Teo’s testimonies, here is his revelation of Genuine Worship – what it means to actively chose Jesus and that praising God can be a beautiful sacrifice.
“In the Kingdom Come stream, we really focused on what the kingdom of God is and how to live that out on earth. The most impactful aspect of this was walking out a miraculous lifestyle and being in an intimate relationship with God, where you can expect miracles to happen.”
Peter Seip, 25, Virginia, USA
“Being a part of the Justice Movement Stream has really challenged the way I see and define justice. It has made me more passionate and aware of the help this broken world needs, and what I can do to bring a stop to the injustice. I can now confidently say that I am able to take on the world, seeking justice and mercy for people in need.”
Chelsea Logan, 19, Newcastle, Australia
“Being part of the Wild Heart stream helped me know my place in the kingdom as well as parts of my spiritual identity. It broke lies and empowered me to be who God called me to be!”
Nicole Tavares, 18, Brazil
“I decided to do a DBS because I wanted to know as much about the Bible as I could. And yes, I learned a lot about the Bible, the historical background and so on. But my biggest gain from the DBS was to learn and see the Bible come alive and active in my own life. The Bible used to be a boring book to me, with a bunch of unrelatable stories and letters. During DBS I got to know how to apply God’s Word to my life and how to be discipled, transformed and guided by it. My life changed so much through that and is still changing. I believe that’s what the Bible is for, to lead us closer to God and to help us to become more like Him.”
Silas Bauer, 22, Germany
“Before DBS the Bible was a bit overwhelming to me and I wasn’t sure if I was capable of receiving understanding for myself; especially when it comes to the hard questions or more complex passages. After DBS, that questioning was stripped away and my relationship with my Heavenly Father has gone deeper than ever before.
DBS taught me how to see the Father heart of God. I learned to see God’s justice, faithfulness, and consistency from Genesis to Revelation. My life and relationship with Jesus will never be the same. When I read God’s Word it speaks loudly to me in full color. I cannot get enough of my Father’s words!! DBS equipped me to search out the scriptures for myself and empower me to share what I’ve learned with those around me. DBS was the sweetest time of my entire life.”
Amy Hulehan, 26, USA
“Being part of the Go Pacific Stream really opened my eyes to experiencing and living in other cultures, particularly that of the Māori and South Pacific. Being able to be so relational with others, a key part of their culture, meant that we could witness God move in peoples’ lives on such a personal level, which has impacted me ever since. It also helped me discover my heart for evangelism, encouraged me to step out in faith, and stirred a passion to share the life-changing love of God I came to know during this time.”
Emma Sear, 19, England
“This is the craziest stream ever, not just doing fun activities, but the people I was with; they are wild as! Throughout the school, I’ve learned so much from the Bible that doing life with God and living my life on the edge is so much more interesting.”
Mun Hei, 21, Malaysia
“Wild at Heart? Yes, of course! But whatever adventure I went for, I wanted to be the one in control. During my DTS, God changed my heart to go wild with Him. I learned to trust in God and that I don’t have to be in charge, as long as I know the One who is!”
Silas Bauer, 21, Germany
“Before joining the Medical Compassion stream, it was hard for me to understand what total surrender looked like in my life. I realize now that it is not my own compassion that compels me to love and care for others, but rather, it is the Father’s heart through me. I realize now that He is the true Savior, and I am simply a vessel chosen to carry His love and mercy to those hurting around me.”
Maeve Cooney, 18, Maryland, USA
“For the past two years God has called me to go deeper in the word and not just let it be a surface level experience with Him. However I didn’t really have the tools, knowledge or understanding for how to go about this. God spoke to me months before I knew I would be able to do the DBS, during lockdown, that those who get into the word would see the face of Jesus. I am realizing that as I get into the word for hours a day with really helpful teachings to go alongside the readings, that is exactly what is happening. I am gaining such a deeper understanding of who God is and who I am, in relation to Him. There have been weeks where doing the homework assignments just completely wrecked me by seeing the love of God and in the moments of reflecting how God has moved so radically in my life. Even when I wasn’t walking closely with Him, He has always been drawing me back into a close relationship with Him by His love and mercy and grace.”
Anika Hochstedler, 26, New York
